f o u r

I remember when I first heard you were coming, I couldn't believe it was true. Then the first time we met, it wasn't under the best circumstances but I didn't want to let you go, so I held you and kissed you and held you some more. Every time I see you you're smarter, funnier, bigger, and looking more like me. I want to spend all my time with you, but we both know I can't. When I see you after a long time apart, I feel like a child on Christmas Eve, like I can't wait anymore, like I might burst with excitement. I love you so much, sometimes I cannot imagine what my life will be like when I have my own. I love spending my summers with you dancing, jumping on the bed, going to the park, watching "Big Brothers" and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, blow drying our hair, eating hot tamales, taking pictures, and sleeping in the big bed together. Happy Birthday Mya Leilani, Auntie LOVES you!

I'm supposed to be here

fyi: this post is pink for Breast Cancer Awareness month :)

"¡Yo quiero más!" This is was what my setter said to me while she looked me in the eye, after the first ball she set me I was left blockless and the crowd went completely berserk. Yesterday was one of those days. The journey to get here was long and not without stress but I'm exactly where I am supposed to be.

We had a pass and serve yesterday morning and after the hour flew by we went in to the locker room to watch some video of the other team. After the video ended another video started... I recognized it immediately. I instantly got chills:

"I don't know what to say really, 3 minutes til the biggest battle of our professional lives. All comes down to today and either we heal as a team or we're going to crumble. Inch by inch, play by play, til we're finished...

....when we add up all those inches, that's gonna make the fucking difference between winning and losing"

Al Pacino's speech in Any Given Sunday, so appropriate at that moment in time. The anxiousness of starting a new season, the anxiety of playing a team that on paper is supposed to be better than you, the excitement to be on this journey with new people standing next to you. But everything he said in that 4 minutes and 30 seconds was everything we needed to hear. It's all about those few inches, who's willing to go that extra inch, what are you going to do for another inch, and do you trust that the person standing next to you is going to go that extra inch for the team, because they know that you would?

We came out in front of our home crowd of 600 people, (who by they way were absolutely insanely fun to play in front of) and lost the first set, but came back and won the next three. It wasn't at all an easy feat but we battled for every point and fought for every inch and came out on top. Since April when I tore the ligaments in my ankle I've been waiting for the chance to get back to 100% and I think I may be close. When it's game point 24-23 and the other team calls a time out and my Coach looks at my setter and tells her to set me the ball, that's feeling I've been waiting for and yo quiero más.

Hoy empieza la SUPERLIGA!

So seriously excited about our first match of the season tonight! All week long the first and last thing my coach has said in practice was: "Chicas, el sabado empieza la liga!" with his big blue intense eyes and a smirk on his face, I'm so pumped. My competitive edge is dying to be fed and starting the season at home against the team that finished in second place last year could not be a better way to fed it. Vamos Haroooooo!!!!! Ah, and yea I had to change my number to 5 cause my 3 was already taken, no big.

la...la...la...laaaaa

For as long as I can remember music has been in my life. I can close my eyes and see my mother in the kitchen, with music playing, singing (off key granted) "l.a..la..la.la..la..doo..doo.doooooh, ahh...ahhh.aahhhhhh!!!!" Or remember being dragged to one of my sister's madrigals concerts over the 6 or 7 years she sung in the choir in school "shut de do, keep out the devil, light the candle, everything is alright." Music has so much power or I guess the power you give it. It can spark a memory or change a mood with just a few notes.

When I see people walking around with headphones in their ears I ALWAYS wonder what they're listening to; I wish I could stop everyone and ask. As for me, I find a good song and listen to it until I find a new one, I have clear evidence of this when I look at my iTunes library play count and see a song with 50+ plays cause I had it on repeat while I sat on a train and stared out the window, just because of the way it made me feel. The song I currently die for is "My Love" by Sia. First of all I love Sia and secondly the song gives me goose bumps and the lyrics make me a little giddy inside cause I know one day I'm going to have this. Here's a video I found, which is nothing official but pretty and includes the lyrics, glad to share.